600 pounds of lovin! No kidding 300+ kilos. I have never seen a human this wide. Her neck is bigger than my butt. (And that is saying something!)

I am standing in the room as the dietician goes over her diet. Nice little dietician says ,"Is there any foods you dislike that we should not bring you?" I am thinking "does she look like there is anything Orca doesn't eat ?" And Orca pipes up "I don't eat celery - it's a personal choice."

The laugh through my nose came out as a snort. The only food known to man that takes more calories to digest than there are in eat and that's the one she WON'T eat !

you know it's a bad day when....

your first report is...
"40ish female came into the ED with OD, lying naked on a stretcher, pulled a bottle of pills from her VAGINA and proceeded to take them all."......

....so is this diagnosis called a vaginal OD?

Ah another day at Mercy Medical. (Yeah that's a made up name). Had the nicest little old lady. She's dying. She knows it. I was trying to pamper her. Got her a warm blankie, some juice, did her treatment. I was leaving and told her thank you very much. She looked at me and said "Be good to yourself today." Now I don't know why she said that but it did make me think. Am I good to myself? Do I take care of myself? Hmmmm. Probably not as much as I ought. So I am going to go buy chocolate. :)

57 Female. 3rd admission. Positive for opiates, barbituates, and benzoids. Doc can't figure out wahy she isn't waking up and insists on a head CT, and MRI, carotid artery studies, CT angio to rule out pe, and DVT studies. I ask him - um could it be the opiates barbituates and benzoids? Since she was in here a month ago - same problem. He patiently explains that she has an infiltrate in her right lower lung. Uh-huh - could she maybe have aspirated??????????
Well - he says it COULD be a PE so we have to rule it out.

Family is asking doc if this is stoke? Bleed? Infection? Why does this keep happening to mama and why can't we figure out what is wrong?

I want to scream "BECAUSE MAMA IS A BIG TIME FREAKIN' DRUGGIE AND YOUR DOC IS A JACKASS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Really really glad I am in a different unit today.

Make SURE the versed is still on board!

So my buddy (an RN) is not real tolerant of drug od's. After dealing with the same stupid chick THREE times he has had enough. She comes out of her od stupor and ...of course... is a belligerant, foul mouthed little freak.

After f'ing him this and calling him an f'ing bastard he had enough and puts down her meds and begins to walk out of the room. She yells at him, "you just don't care do you?" That was the final blow. He turns around, looks at her, and clamly says "You're right. I don't care. I think we should have let you die." Turns back around and exits the room.

Dammit the versed had worn off and she remembered

every

single

word.



I gave him some advice after he met with his manager and the HR department.

Dude no matter what - you can't tell them what you really think.

management - got to love 'em ... or laugh at 'em

So about nine months ago we were told two things in staff meeting.

#1 Everybody is working mandatory overtime and we are not paying as much for it as we used too

and

#2 oh, and here is a survey the corporation would like you to fill out concerning our management style.

Now you would think they would separate these two things by, say, a month or two. But our management does not necessarily see the connection of things. Needles to say our department came in rock bottom of the whole damn corporation. Rock bottom.

Einsteins that they are decided the problem was that we, as therapists, didn't feel recognized enough. So how to solve this? Of course! Send out another survey.

Low and behold in my box this morning is the survey. The very first question is something like "what does recognition look like to you?"
I put down, "a really big banner, a 14 and1/2 inch trophy, confetti, and possibly a parade."

Hope it puts an end to idiot surveys. Yeah - I know - wishful thinking.

I hate my job.

Okay not really the job. I hate this hospital and all the f%$#$% PA's who think they are God and don't want to listen to a damn thing any of us have to say.

So here's the scenario. Big freaking fat guy. 400 pounds. (Okay I exaggerate he's only 395). We have to do a lumbar puncture and the PA wants him prone. I strongly suggest that's a bad idea. PA argues with me. I say, "What I'm telling you is he is a big guy and he can't breath proned". I am totally ignored. So we prone the guy. Yeah I know damn stupid of us. I know better. Within seconds dudes blood pressure is 200 over something - he's tachying along at 160, spo2 67 and cyanotic as hell. PA wants to "give him a minute". RN says we have to flip him now! We overrule the PA because how you going to run a code on a prone guy????????

He did recover. But man it pissed me off so bad. I knew it was a bad idea. I told him it was a bad idea. Rn agreed it was a bad idea but no- stupid ass PA has to play big shot and damn near coded this guy.

I hate this job.